Pray along with Bishop Trautman

My favorite blogs have much to say about Bishop Donald W. Trautman (Diocese of Erie, PA) and his opinions about and influence upon the translations in the forthcoming 3rd edition of the Roman Missal. This Missal was published in Latin in 2002, but is languishing in an alphabet soup of Bishops' Committees. Bishop Trautman doesn't seem to put much stock in the guidelines of Liturgiam Authenticam that call for literal exactness and fidelity in translations. His article for America Magazine almost reads like a populist appeal to the laity.

Rant alert:
Never mind (as Amy Welborn tips Happy Catholic for pointing out) that His Excellency uses sentences like this to lament these liturgical principles:

In fact, however, much of liturgical language is inaccessible not just to youth but also to the average Catholic, and there is a danger that some parts of the forthcoming translations of the Missale Romanum - particularly the use of obscure and archaic words and sentences with two or three clauses in nine and ten lines - will make our prayer texts even less accessible. (Prayer and Song for the People of God, Pastoral Music June-July, 2007, pub. by NPM)

Perhaps the Erie Ordinary is just using irony to make his point, but which is easier for you to understand? The argument above, or this prayer, which worries the Bishop:

“Accept, O Lord, these gifts,
and by your power change them
into the sacrament of salvation,
in which the prefiguring sacrifices of the Fathers
have an end
and the true Lamb is offered,
he who was born ineffably of the inviolate Virgin.”
(Prayer over the Offerings, Season of Advent)

And, with all due respect to the 'average Catholic', do you: pay major league ticket prices for 'average ball-players'? trust an 'average doctor' for open-heart surgery? accept 'average' speed and performance for your top-of-the-line wi-fi? I would think that average Catholics would do well to try and form themselves to the liturgical/linguistic ideals of the magisterium, rather than seeking liturgy that dumbs itself down to the lowest common denomination-ator.

Rant over.

This exchange of ideas has led to some amusing creative writing. Witness, from the comments at Amy Welborn's blog, the Lord's Prayer:

Dad in the happy place,
What a great name you have!
Have it your way here, like at your place.
Give us food, and forget our bads like we do.
And don't scare us, but keep us safe.
OK?

and the Hail Mary:

Greetings Mary, jam-packed with grace.
The big Guy is with you.
You are really a stand-out compared to other women.
And awesome is the product of your uterus. Jesus.
Really good person, Mary, God's mommy, Ask God to look the other way at our goof-ups.
Now, and when a doctor decides my quality of life is not worth living. Okay.

Translate those back into the mother-tongue, and everybody's happy, right?